Random Rant #16

I have missed writing... I have missed it, but I had frozen for months. I was reluctant to unleash the torrent of words that are hiding, lurking inside me. It became too real for me, the names now have faces, and relationships have to be forged. At a scale I have never been comfortable with... Even now I hesitate to be real, to express myself sincerely and honestly. You still exist in the back of my mind somewhere. I have been pushing you to the back, and you have been fighting your way to the front. And when you stop trying, that's when you rise to the surface. Because I have let my guard down. My guard - who is my guard? I miss having a guardian... There is chaos around me and I want to join it. I want to be a part of it, but it scares me. I want my life to get on track again - I had it, but then I lost it... But there are worse problems than mine out there...

I am cold - but I am always cold now... The situation is out of hand, but I don't know whether the solution is getting it in hand, or just letting it run wild, run free... I am cold and hungry, but it is my choice to be cold and hungry - there are others that lack that choice. And what do I do? What do most people do?


Nothing.